you know you don't have to have a title right?

I don't really know why I logged on or what I'm going to write about. So much has happened since march. The usual drama unfolded into unusual drama. I'd say I think I'm done with it but the fact is, I can't be done with it. I've accepted that it's just part of growing up. Another part of growing up is finding out who you are and I'm proud to say that I'm getting a little closer.

I'm sick right now and I have to wonder if the sickness is coming from the inside. I lied to my parents last weak and ever since then I've been off. I know lying isn't exactly punishable by death but lying was something that I had worked very hard not to do. All my work was lost in one night. The guilt is still inside me, eating away at any possible redemption. I'm resenting more people for it, blaming them for anything I can, especially my sister who's freedom relys on my lie. I'm finding ways to fight her blaming her for bringing me down and though she had something to do with it, the fault is mine. I don't know how many more times I can cover for her. I thought I wanted to be like her, beautiful, and manipulating. But trying to be like her has currupted me.
I guess it's all good in the end. I've learned not to want the world, especially if it makes me feel like this. I'm going to make things right without manipulation or lies because that's who I am. I'm not my sister and that is the most releiving fact in the world.

I don't have time to go back and draft so if it doesn't make sense don't bother with it.