that's a good question

I was right. I don't want to jinx myself by saying why quiet yet but if you think for just a minute about my past blogs you'll understand why. I don't actually have much to talk about right now. Life is going at it's usual pace and you can take that to mean anything you want for all I care. I'm mostly in a carefree mood right now. That or I'm just depressed to a point of not caring anymore but who needs depression while there's ignorance. I don't really think I'm depressed. Mostly just stressed out. I have a soar throat and I can't afford to be sick. I have a six a. m. to two p.m. dance practice this saturday to get ready for the concert. I'm already tired. I've had to go to bed at seven thirty lately in order to catch up on enough sleep. I hate waking up early more than anything else in the world. Me and mornings just don't get along. I'll do it for dance though. I'm trying to find my dancer soul again. I kindof lost it. I lost a lot of things but thats a long story that would take a life time to explain. anyway, I'm goint to go try to write.

P.S. This is a shoutout to lexi, I love you tons and I appreciate you more than anything and anyone else in the world. Thanks a ton. You're brilliant, funny, witty, and just plain great. You're heart is prettier than anything I've ever seen. Thanks for being my best friend. (i know you have to put up with a lot)

waffle

I actually acted mostly normal in front of Adam today. I'm so proud of myself. Maybe I am getting over him. Or maybe it's not that I'm over him. Maybe it's just that I'm not craving for his attention every five seconds. I feel somewhat good about myself for once. My confidence is actually getting better. I don't know what caused it but I hope it lasts. I'm still not exactly happy with my life and I'm still lonely but at least I'm starting to be confident. It feels so good! I love my friends and I love that it's fall. I love the way the leaves sound when I step on them and I love the color of the trees. I love the mountains and the way they're turning pink. I love seeing the birds migrate and I could die for the sound of the wind blowing through dry leaves. I've never loved fall so much in my life. Summer is still my favorite but I feel so good right now. I hope it never ends.